Shoes

They say you can tell much by a man's shoes. I study faces, body posture, I notice much, for perhaps the loudest things people say, they never speak. We are closing in on the end of our second day in Haiti, the women's meeting was a great success. I sit here on the church property quietly observing all manner of conversations and people. The young people met under the children's tent, another small group meets out in the open air, the women are gathered under the big tent that is to be replaced tomorrow. Children dance around me, laughing, stroking my hair, touching my white man's skin. Their fascination with me matches my own fascination with them. Out of their poverty, they practice such joy and contentment. It makes me cringe at the contrast to my own selfishness. It the midst of these observations I notice of all things tonight, shoes. Feet that often don't fit in the patten leather, flip flops an inch too short, a child in dress shoes wearing camo colored military style clothing. There is little fashion in Haiti. It is about getting by, not getting more. I recently received a gift of a pair of Keens sandals. The nicest I have ever worn, tonight I feel even more blessed by this gift. Who am I that I should posses such luxury, that I should walk in such comfort? Am I somehow more deserving than these amazing people. I was born in a different country, to a different blood, so that makes me worthy? I confess I will never fully understand the grace of God. The scope of my understanding is just too small. What I do understand is that I have been given much, and much will be required of me in the end. So here we are, those who have received much, to give as much as we can, and giving on behalf of so many who also practice this compulsion to love and share. Our gifts are winning hearts for the kingdom. And it is remarkable to witness. Our first full day on the ground is almost done, and it has been good. The first 48 hours of this journey always kicks you in the teeth, but this team has been steadfast, and I am grateful. Tomorrow is 'D' day, we cleared the property late tonight for the removal of one tent and the unfurling of the new. Pray for our success, that against and in spite of all obstacles, we erect a new worship arena for these incredible people where shoes don't matter, but hearts do. There are already so many stories coming to light, the success of these trips will never be fully measured this side of eternity, of this I am now confident. So now to rest and ready for day three, blessings to all our faithful!

Unbelief

Morning came very early today, but we made it to the airport with all our luggage. It is such a fiasco to work with the airlines today. They are constantly changing policies and regulations, it's almost impossible to keep up with them. Embargoes come and go, and we are calling often to check on changes and possibilities in order the get the most goods in we can at the most economical rate. Invariably Robinson calls with last minute additions, this time it was an alternator, a couple suits for a wedding, along with some other little things. The holiday travel embargo was to lift as you might guess, tomorrow. But the nuances of these embargoes are always shifting. The airline told us to call the day before travel, and they might let us take the extra bags that would have been able to go if we had gone in October. We received permission by the main office, we had a plan ready, so we did some quick shifting yesterday morning before we left, and we had our extra bags after all. Fast forward to about 4:30 this morning, all was going smoothly, all but two of the team were through with their luggage, Ray and Deloris were the only ones left with six suitcases. You can guess what happened. The embargo according to the clerk limited us to just four more bags, not six. Funny I had just commented on how smoothly it appeared to be going. As the plot thickened I whispered a prayer under my breath. There was no way these bags could be left behind. Fortunately we had a wonderful and considerate clerk who has served us kindly over the years. With some fast thinking she separated out Ray and Deloris' reservation, and had them recheck for an upgrade to first class. Unbelievably, they upgraded and got all six bags included for free. We ended up saving $130.00! We are now in the air just above Port Au Prince, and I am reminded of the goodness and greatness of God to deliver upon what He means to accomplish! He continues to stretch my faith, and work over my troubling frame of unbelief. Now as I finish this post we are safely in St. Marc. We made absolutely fabulous time in the airport and passed through customs unscathed. We sped along marked paved roads until we entered St. Marc proper, I can't tell you how much that has improved travel. Now at 9:00 pm Rob is delivering our bedding and daypack to a new location we are going to try. The team is weary in well doing, but we are doing very well. So we will call it a day soon. We rejoice tonight for safe travels, for cooler weather, and hugs from a very beautiful Klarissa Belle! She is definitely a star attraction. Blessings from Haiti!

Poor

We have made it to Detroit with no flight cancellation calls from the airline! The further we made it down the road today, the greater became the realization that we are actually on our way. The weather was beautiful and cooperative, and we made good time, even pulling a trailer. Tonight we gathered for an informal meeting to collaborate on our mission, and the sharing time was very rich. We prayed together and now we are readying for a few hours of sleep. As always we have much to do, and little time to do it in. So we will do our best to accomplish all we are allowed to do, and trust it is enough. Rick shared a thought tonight about how the poor view themselves, it's funny how we become disillusioned by what we possess. We often gather opinions of ourselves based on what we have or don't have. His point was that the poor see themselves broken, useless, and unwanted. In truth, the reality is we are all broken, in some form or fashion we are useless and unwanted, even when we have much. If you happen to possess much at all, you are usually envied for what you have, not for who you are as a person. In our culture, we are wrestling with entitlement mentality that says take from those who have and give to those who do not, balance the equation we say. In truth that will fix nothing because our value system has been broken, it's now about stuff and not people, or relationships. As we shared around the room tonight, relationship took center stage and it was refreshing to feel, to partake in. As we plunge ourselves into the Haitian culture tomorrow, we enter a realm where relationship is not in poor straights. As we share with them this week, we will all take away something from them as well, if we don't, it will be our own faults. While they are the poorest of the poor as the world counts riches, they seem to possess a wealth of relationship understanding, and we suffer a terrible deficiency of it in our culture right now. We busy ourselves in pursuit of the American dream, and then just about the time we achieve it, we die and leave it to another. Or it's never quite enough, and we cut off all that really matters in our reckless pursuit. Don't take me wrong, hard work is good for us, there is nothing wrong with making money, this mission cost me personally, it can't happen without hours of labor to pay the bills. But we need to be careful to seek balance, to not give away the most important thing for a bowl of porridge. So time to rest, to pause the cursor on the screen, 2:30 am steams toward us, 28 suitcases, 13 day packs and 13 travelers to get to the airport early and catch our 6:20 am flight. We need some rest! Blessings tonight!

Re-boot

However awkwardly, we are making ready to leave for Haiti again in two days. Tomorrow at noon we will begin our trek south to Detroit en route to Miami and then Port Au Prince. We are all suffering a sort of disillusionment and disorientation since the trip was cancelled in the fall because of Hurricane Sandy. You can read about it two posts back. We have just come through the tunnel of Holiday rush, and the feeling is a little like blurred motion. I wonder that we should be going so soon after all that rush, I feel like part of me is still back at December 25th and is trying to catch up. The decorations are down, and so some semblance of normal is in the air, but now bags are repacked, and we are leaving what is somewhat normal to plunge ourselves into someone else's normal. A normal where the riptide of time has left broken and scourged lives desperate for hope and deliverance. As I peck away at the keyboard tonight, a child weeps in the dark, alone and afraid, a mother struggles to feed a hungry child devoid of enough nourishment herself to survive, a father agonizes in frustration and hunger, for tomorrow will produce more of what came today, no work, no food, no change. I know these faces, for I am beholden to them every time I enter the universe called Haiti. A surreal place that challenges the frame of my understanding and shakes me to the core of my being. It would be so easy to quit, to drive these images from my mind and to free myself of the bondage to serve, to wrap myself in my soft quilt of American culture, to continue to be drugged with a false sense of security, and serve my selfish desires... or would it? The truth is I cannot. And while I may be beleaguered and tired, the force of grace drives me on, drives us on. And so tonight we re-boot, the countdown begins, and ready hearts move into position, flanking each other, we press on. Like the children in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, we move across the room together, approaching that foreboding closet door, ready to tumble again through the wardrobe and into a land of icy cold, frozen by evil, shrouded and encased in a bubble of time far removed from what we are accustomed too. We tumble in to take the great message of the Lion of the tribe of Judah, a message of hope, with goods, and good tidings we go. There is much we desire to do this week, but circumstances will rise and endeavor to shut down our efforts. Pray we are able to accomplish what we are meant to accomplish this week. That we are able to serve up marvelous portions of hope, to feed the hungry, to give a drink to the thirsty, to bind up the broken, to hug the forlorn, to pass out warm smiles and to sweeten the bitterness of the forsaken. It's a very formidable task, but we are up for the challenge. We do not stand on our own, but on the wings of Him who carries us. Many blessings tonight!

Imitation

This is a post by a new traveler who will be with us on our January trip, we are delighted he is sharing his thoughts!

"I first heard about Christ Community Church’s Haiti ministry when my church, West Side Community Church, was asked to help purchase a new tent for the growing congregation in St Marc.  At the time I didn’t expect to actually travel to Haiti and help put it up.  About seven weeks before the original departure date, this changed when Pastor John, the Senior Pastor at West Side, encouraged me to go with the team.  However, a few weeks before Pastor John approached me, I had already begun to pray privately for the opportunity to go to Haiti. Why?

You see, like most people growing up in the United States, I grew up unaware of the larger world around me including Haiti.  I found myself worrying about what movie to rent while people across the globe found themselves worrying about finding their next meal.  When the earthquake hit Haiti in 2010, I became aware of a people who literally had nothing.  I read then that going from having nothing to having even less is impossible, but for the people of Haiti it had become a reality.  My heart broke, and the heartbreak wouldn’t go away.  For the first time, I gave money to directly help people in need.  I became gripped by a strong desire to go to Haiti someday.  I wanted to have images and memories that would stay with me, to help me remember how blessed I am no matter what life throws at me.  I wanted to pray with people and give them hope.  I wanted to show them my love and the love of the God who created them.  Though time went by and life got complicated, Haiti remained on my mind. And now, it’s time to go, to see, to hear, to touch, and to give.

 I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve had doubts and hesitations about the trip: knowing my heart will be changed permanently, but also experiencing the natural human tendency to resist change, even if it could be for the better; the desire to share the experience with my wife; and the unease of joining a team of people already mostly familiar with one another.

However, as the trip draws near, I find my mind turning to the things I hope to accomplish, trying to be aware of God’s will and direction.  I look forward to visiting with the orphans.  My heart has always broken for the defenseless. Indeed, the Bible calls us to be fathers to the fatherless.  I am also looking forward to helping put up that new church tent and telling the folks at West Side all about it when I get back.  I am also looking forward to building relationships, both with the team and with the Haitian people. Finally, I am really looking forward to capturing photos and stories to inspire others when I return, and to inspire myself for a lifetime.

I have been focused on and inspired by The Great Commission (Matt. 28:19).  When I think about the communication barriers and short timeframe of the trip, I look at Jesus’ simple yet powerful example of being full of joy and showing love.  I want to imitate my Savior. I want to follow His example. This is my true calling for the trip.  All the tasks along the way will just be opportunities to show this love in action." Stephen Scott

Demolition

One of my all time favorite shows was "Extreme Home Makeover". A few years after Krystle's brain tumor we actually applied to the show! A favorite moment of the one hour program is demolition. Every time you wondered what great idea Ty Pennington would have to take an old wreck of a home to the ground. His ideas seemed endless, and left you cheering for the family every time. But have you ever wondered at your reaction if you were watching a wrecking ball headed toward a home on a TV screen, and realized it was your own! Somehow the show had made a mistake, you glance out the window, and suddenly a force so great you cannot conceive is driving through every wall, every room, taking out with it the electrical, the plumbing, drywall, trim, chandelier's, cabinets, furniture, pictures, everything you held sacred about your home environment is crumbling before this terrible and nightmarish force. In stunned silence you to try to process what just happened, clouds of dust roll around you, you cough, you gag. Someone made a mistake, a wrong calculation, and you are the brunt of an unfortunate oversight. Doctors have cut off wrong limbs on the wrong people, removed the wrong organs on the wrong body. Massive mistakes that there is no recourse for except to live with for the rest of one's life. The right plan at the right time removes great evil, great pain, and replaces those things with bright hope and a future. Matter of fact, God even tells us in Jeremiah that it is His plan for us, to have hope and a future. This week the cruel wrecking ball of circumstance blasted through our lives, our plans, our goals. It shattered our expectations like some kind of crude joke. Laughter faded into solemn faces, you smiled because you should, not because you wanted too. We adjusted, however roughly to the changing face of time, we stalled, nose-dived, re-booked, and in January we will re-try. What did we miss? Better yet, what did God miss, did He get the address wrong? Perhaps someone changed their address and mistakenly used mine. The cheering halted, reality charged into the room and ravaged a plan. Robinson consoled me by saying: "You know American's, they have their schedule's! Sometimes God plays with our schedules!" I don't like it, but He's right. So much of planning, of preparation, of praying. God comes in and says, however rudely, "Go home!" We went home. We had no choice. There was no plan B. Just plan "wait"! I tend to lack a little in the patience department. If you go back and read my first posts from Haiti, you will see my struggle, I have come a long ways! I am not planning to go back to that place again where I might be forced to relearn some of those lessons, but really now,  does God need to do this? Apparently so, and I have to be okay with it. We have to be okay with it. It's really not our mission, it's His. We are His ambassadors, and He really doesn't need us at the embassy right now. We have been momentarily decommissioned from this leg of the journey. I have thought much about this across this past week, wrestling with disorientation, confusion of emotions, and trying to re-boot the system. God is doing His part, I am trying to do mine, the rest of the team is doing the same. Meanwhile, I glance at a picture like this one and think, do I really have it so rough? Here is the epitome of inconvenience, nay, even sheer havoc. What of me, of my situation, of my plans? They really don't matter laid next to this. What are the plans for this little one? Where is his "Extreme Home Makeover"? The wrecking ball seems to have caught him in it's swing and deposited him in the middle of nowhere. I love perspective, and sometimes despise it at the same time! So what now? We are moving forward with some of the projects on the ground, we are still endeavoring to bring the tent out of customs, some team members are recovering from head colds, some are recovering from broken hearts, some are just recovering in general. As the week has progressed we have forwarded needed funds into Rob, we have sent ahead for cases of Bibles. In our absence, God is not limited. There are lessons here for both the Americans and the Haitians. God makes NO mistakes. His timing is impeccable, and if He allows the wrecking ball to swing through the circumstances of the structure of our lives, He is seeing something that needs to go that we simply cannot see. So onward and upward we go, adjusting and believing, trusting and praying, submitting and surrendering to the omniscience of the Almighty who knows all things, holds all things, restores all things. Blessings tonight from (surprise!) my bedroom, and not St. Marc!

P.S. They held a baptism at the ocean today! Many are being saved, it would have been cool to be there for that, it was probably one of their surprises for us! God is good all the time!

Cancelled

Ready, set, stop! Fully loaded after weeks of intense, focused preparation. Every item carefully scrutinized for necessity, 28 suitcases, 13 overstuffed back packs, 13 people with congested schedules rearranged to accommodate a mission of mercy, to deliver a breath of fresh hope and help to a scathed and battered land. On the road at long last, final good-byes and well-wishers behind, a caravan of cars pressed south with precious cargo in tow, precious lives to touch in front, and incredible people inside to carry a message of hope and help. About two hours into our journey today, Hurricane Sandy rang in and cancelled our trip. She is big, and powerful, and out of control. Or should I say, in control. For when I consulted with American Airlines about when we could possibly fly, I was greeted with total impotence. In the course of just a few minutes our trip went from joyful excitement to candid questioning, to gentle despair. I have worked along side of great individuals across the course of my life, but as reality set in today that all our plans were washing away before their very eyes, I became aware that I was surrounded by a very classy group of Christians. It is great to witness people walking out their faith. This cancellation didn't affect a few people, but hundreds, and untold scores of hours, and hundreds of dollars, and mountains of details. After the first bout of bad news we drove a few miles and settled into a cozy Applebee's corner table to consider our plight and calculate what perhaps may be the new plan. The new plan as it was hammered out constituted returning home, integrating back into work schedules and postponing our trip for ten weeks. Life is this constant strain of articulating walking out the will of God, practicing our faith by stepping out, and responding when we get slammed back by circumstances beyond our control. We are left wondering who exactly is in control. But if we are truly submitted to God, and trusting Him with our lives, and He is actually in control, what else is left to do but trust and believe in spite of these unexplained perceived setbacks? This is our first trip fully cancelled. So many little things had come together in spite of ornery details, and yet God said not now! It's painful! Krystle didn't talk the entire drive back to Traverse City, the conversations on the phone with other team members were discussing many of the reasons God had stopped the trip. The point though is that God doesn't need a reason to stop us, He just can! He has a plan, a way that plan is to be fulfilled, and He drives us through that course, and simply asks us to follow. We are prone to second guess ourselves when things like this happen, as a team leader I feel responsibility to these amazing people who have put enough confidence in me to travel alongside of us as we endeavor to bring help and hope to the nation of Haiti. Did I miss something on the timing? Did I overlook something of the Divine? What happened? What happened was God moved the timeline. And godly people with us today cooperated in an unquestionably beautiful showing of faith and character that I will mark with deep appreciation in the course of my life, forever grateful to journey beside such endearing fellow sojourners! We will join again soon, to continue the rest of this journey we have been sent together on. We will not be dissuaded,  we will accomplish that for which we have been sent forth, and those who support us and are the wings upon which we ride, be assured tonight, we are in our saddles and ready to go! We are just waiting on the Commander in Chief of the Universe! Baby Klarissa is doing well this evening. Naromie is okay, but struggling in the healing process. Please keep them in your prayers. The team is safely all back home as well! Blessings to all, and thank you again for your support!