Pallid

Patience is such a great virtue! But I can tell you at moments when the opposite of patience is rewarded so exponentially in our culture, it’s a hard thing for us to get our heads around. I am used to getting what I need, when I need it, with minimal delay. If I should sit too long through a drive through I get frustrated, if I must wait for a web page to load too long I get aggravated, matter of fact, I’ve noticed since the new iOS 11 update that my calls are connected much faster (albeit a few split seconds). We are conditioned for speed. Robinson commented yesterday at breakfast about a young ice delivery boy who had been sent to deliver ice by his boss, he was very demanding that someone come out quickly and get their ice. Apparently they had to wait for Rob to get to the house with the money, and when he did he received the story of the young man in a rush. He told the young man to go back and tell his boss not to send him to the house anymore. To send someone who was not in a rush, because they were not in a rush here. On so many levels I balked at the story. Whatever I need, I need now in a 911. But I am learning that rushing ruins things. We are not a culture who savors things anymore, consumerism breeds pallid taste buds. Buyers remorse fills the market place, and we don’t know the joy of moments. I shouldn’t say ‘we’, I should say ‘me’. I don’t mean to judge. But here in Haiti, all I see is waiting. If patience is a great virtue, this culture gets a gold star. There are a lot of my comfort zones that are violated in Haiti, but this one is my biggest. The feeling of responsibility to perform, to get it done, to accomplish what they say can’t be done is always foreboding and present. Always in my peripheral vision is the undone, unfinished, unfulfilled, it looms as a constant reminder that my goals must always be tempered with the reality that my time is not God’s time. I’m learning the virtue of savoring the moments. This trip is reminding me how time is eroding away at my body. What would happened if I could no longer ‘do’. What if my strength totally waned, what kind of man would I be then? We were reminded in our devotion yesterday that God uses our weaknesses more than our strengths. I think patience erodes at our pride, it is the antidote to ‘me’. Waiting actually increases faith muscles, at least that’s what it feels like to me. I am slowly gaining more strength and resolve through the interminable periods I find myself in a holding pattern, which in Haiti happens many times a day. Today we have a women’s service and a men’s service, along with a host of miscellaneous other little things to get done. We are grateful for the opportunity to serve, and serve we will, bring on another dose of patience please! Blessings from St. Marc.